Posts by cognizant dissident

42

I think I did something very "sick" and embarassing

by kristyann in

jw
friends

okay... so i am super embarassed once again.

this time what happened is too embarassing to share, i think.

most people would probably tell me i am gross, too, and most of you would probably not even want to hear it so i guess that i am better off not sharing it here.

cognizant dissident

Kristy Ann: Take it from an ex nurse who has seen people's bodily fluids of every description leaking out of every orifice. There is nothing disgusting or sick about it. It's just part of being human and a woman. Guys have their embarrassing stuff too. Is there one woman on the face of the planet who has not had an embarrassing period accident? I challenge you to find one! One night, my girlfriends and I sat around getting tanked and started describing our worst period nightmares. Each story was worse than the next. By the end of the evening we were just about peeing our pants (oops) we were laughing so hysterically.

Ok, I'll tell you a couple just for laughs. There was the one girl in PE class who was running down the field in a relay race and her maxi pad fell right out of her shorts onto the field. Everyone in her class was lined up watching her and waiting for their turn so they all saw it, but there was no way she was going to run back and claim it!

Another young woman was sitting around having drinks with her husband and his very handsome friend who she had a big secret crush on. She was pretty tipsy and went to the bathroom to change her maxi pad. A few minutes later the handsome friend goes to the bathroom and when he comes out he is giving her a funny look. The night wears on and he goes home. She goes back to the bathroom to pee and sees her used, unwrapped maxi pad sitting on the counter. She had so much to drink that she forgot to wrap it and toss it and accidentally left it right in full view for their guest to find! She was so embarrassed that she never let her husband invite that friend over for drinks again, and wouldn't tell him why!

So does that make you feel any better? If your friends even noticed, they probably won't say anything. Just forget about it. If they did notice and mention it, just tell them your problem and tell them how embarrassed you are. In a few years you will be able to get drunk and laugh about this with your friends!

Cog

46

Good News no GREAT NEWS!!!

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

my application for disability has been approved!!!!!

yes i feel like screaming out loud for joy.

it's been a year and a half of fighting for this.

cognizant dissident

Good news Lady Lee! I'm so happy you will be taken care of in the way you deserve! OK, you deserve even better, but it's still great news!

Cog

7

How many caregivers are here?

by nsrn in

jw
friends

i'm just having a little 'pity party' for me tonight and thought surely there are others here who are caring for invalid family members daily.. i am an rn (day shift).

then i come home to work: my husband is not very mobile due to a series of medical issues,...well, he fell thursday and broke his right leg.

i have elderly parents with multiple health issues.

cognizant dissident

Hi nsrn:

I was always taking care of others so I joined the RN degree program 5 years ago. figured I might as well get paid for it! The problem is that I got so exhausted caring for others for 12 hours a day and then coming home to a ill son and a hypochondriac mother who was just anxious and wanted lots of attention. Anyway, I was always getting so rundown and sick, catching everything from my patients. I finally came down with lupus in my 3rd year and had to leave the program. I know they say to take care of yourself when you're a nurse, but when the hell are you supposed to do that when you come home to sick people also?

I don't have any answers for you, but I sure have a lot of empathy! Nurses and doctors are tops in my books!

Cog

53

Sorry, need to moan and belly ache

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

i normally try not to moan and belly ache here, but today i'm really down.

the other day i was kidding and joking about being "socially-challenged", it can be fun to do this... but sometimes it catches up to me.

i spend the vast majority of my evenings and weekends alone... movies, restaurants, community events, parties, you name it.

cognizant dissident

Elsewhere:

I thought you were setting yourself up to feel like a failure at social relationships by telling yourself negative things such as "If I can't meet someone here, then I'm hopeless". You are hinging way too much of your self-worth on the outcome of each social interaction. Just let things flow naturally and don't expect a lot from each social encounter. You will be so much more relaxed if you know this is just one moment in time and isn't of life-changing importance.

Being yourself and being genuinely interested in getting to know the other person is great advice. People do love to talk about themselves. It's good not to ask too personally intrusive questions at the beginning. Keep it light and friendly. It sounds like you did a great job flirting with the cute deaf girl. You handled it perfectly. If she doesn't contact you, it's because she knows herself well enough to know she wouldn't be happy with an atheist. Don't beat yourself up about it as if you did something wrong. You shouldn't expect to be compatible with everyone you meet. Look at it as a getting to know you process without putting so much pressure on the outcome. Desperation is a big turnoff and difficult to hide. You need to actually not feel desperate to have a relationship.

When you get to an awkward pause in the conversation, you can just casually say, "Well, I guess I should go mingle, or freshen my drink or say Hi to so and so.. Even the most skilled conversationalists have awkward pauses.

Good luck!

Cog

31

Shunned Father: Law suit thrown out

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

i just received this in a silent lambs email.. very bad news.

i don't understand it.. .

canada in brief.

cognizant dissident

I too thought this case was doomed from the start only because the lawyers refused to take it on contingency. If a lawyer thinks a case will be successful and there is a good chance of them raking in 33% of a hefty settlement they will usually take a case on contingency. When they start charging you an hourly rate and expect a retainer up front, it could be a sure sign they don't think there is any chance of a successful settlement.

Cog

70

This Past Sunday My Wife Took Me To The Elders!

by enlightenedcynic in

early sunday morning, around 1:30 a.m., my wife wakes me and says that she can't sleep and needs to talk with me.

i say ok and she proceeds to tell me that she wants a seperation.

i was hurt, but not shocked, because our relationship is not that close at this point after 14 yrs of marriage.

cognizant dissident

It was mentioned by an earlier poster that you don't actually possess any apostate literature on your computer. All you had saved on your computer was watchtower articles, newspaper articles about JW's (lots of people clip those) and a letter from the UN. Ask the elder's if old watchtower articles are considered apostate material? I think you could easily escape being df'd on a technicality here.

Also, you did not share any anti-witness views with your wife or anyone else. She printed them off of the computer and gave them to elders without your knowlege. Tell them you would never have showed them to anyone as you would be afraid to damage another's faith. You only kept them as interesting references when you accidentally ran across them thinking you were on a faithful JW site. Really, they have no concrete evidence of any wrongdoing. Don't apologize or acknowledge any guilt. Act as innocent as you truly are. They cannot disfellowship for wrong thought, only for actual behaviour.

As for the oral sex thing, tell the elders that you never received oral sex from your wife. You performed oral sex on your wife because you didn't know that was wrong. You only thought oral ejaculation was wrong. Also, tell them you never forced your wife. She acted like she absolutely loved it that's why you kept doing it. (That should embarrass her a little, hey you're entitled to a little payback for her selling you out). Then make a big deal of saying that now that you know it's wrong and that she doesn't like it, you will NEVER, EVER perform oral sex on her again! I bet she regrets opening her big mouth after that! She probably wanted to enjoy it but just not have to take any responsibility for it.

I honestly think playing dumb and totally innocent will get you out of being df'd and only privately reproved. As for your marriage, sounds to me like she wants out and is grasping at excuses. If the elders tell her no dice, she may have to take responsibility for her own choices.

Hope it works out for the best,

Cog

46

Did John Denver hate Jehovah's Witnesses?

by free2beme in

jw
friends

my mother once told me a story of how john denver supposedly hated jehovah's witnesses more then life itself.

my legend, these are two examples i heard while in the witnesses .... 1. at a john denver concert, he once asked all jehovah's witnesses in the audience to leave.. 2. johnny carson once asked him if he did this, and when he said he did, johnny carson asked him to leave the show in rehearsal and re-booked someone else.. ... awhile back i started looking on the internet for information on this and could not see any proof of this and wondered if anyone ever heard this before or was it just something that was in our area.

i have a feeling it is something others heard of.

cognizant dissident

I always doubted this story for this reason: Obviously, the JW's in the audience paid for their tickets like everyone else. So he had no right to ask them to leave. The box office would have had to refund their money. Isn't concert going about making money? I guess its possible he made anti-witness remarks and some witnesses got upset and left on their own intiative?

My girlfriend and I were both upset when Kevin Kostner made anti-witness remarks in his film Paradise. But we didn't leave. We wanted to hear what else he would say. I actually believe he portrayed witnesses unfairly as ignorant, poor, white trash. In reality, we all know they are well dressed, well spoken, brainwashed cult members! Geez! Get it straight, Kevin!

Cog

40

foods that contain blood

by loosie in

.

ok i have googled this and can't find a list of foods that contain blood.. i have learned from this board that chocolate, milk and hotdogs contain blood.. does anyone know of more or when i can find a list of foods that contain blood?.

i would love to see some friends of mine change their diet....lol

cognizant dissident

Moanzy: my dad said the exact same thing about his pet food! I really want to hear that stupid answer. I could use a good laugh.

Cog

23

Bethelites released not because of cost cutting

by ocsrf in

jw
friends

.

this is the official line that was given.

i did not hear this myself from a speaker but got it second hand, and those who are faithful believe it.. so far 350 have been asked to leave, one couple with as much as 30 years full time service with most of it at bethel.. oc

cognizant dissident

OC: Did they give a reason for why they were being released if it wasn't due to cost-cutting?

Cog

78

"You have a week to Move out" PLEASE HELP! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

by stillAwitness in

jw
friends

yesterday morning was my bookstudy.

but i had a runway show to do that night (i think i have mentioned before that i have been pursuing modeling) and so of course i had to skip out.

my parents go to a differ bookstudy than me but in the same hall and so they were able to notice that i was not there.

cognizant dissident

Stilla:

Seventeen is much too young to be tossed out on the street by your parents, whether you are a male or a female. However, at 22 years old, you are an adult. You do come across as young and dependent for your age, which is why some people give you a bit of a hard time. However, I agree with LDH, your parents have kept you sheltered and have conditioned you to be afraid of everything in the world for a very good reason. It helps them to maintain control over you and allows them to pressure you to conform to JW beliefs or else face the consequences of having them throw you out into that very cold, unsafe world they have taught you to be afraid of.

Look at all you have accomplished already in your short life. You have graduated. You have a job. You can drive. You have what seems to be a nice boyfriend. You have the courage to post on an apostate forum. You are doing a lot better than many, many lost young people your age. Yet, you have been so conditioned by fear, that you cannot see all these positive things you have accomplished and allow them to make you feel confident about your survival skills. Most of the obstacles you throw up in your own way are imagined and could happen to you if you stay home. (Being raped for example) This type of thinking only keeps you stagnant.

In my opinion, it is very unfair for your parents to give you only a week to move out. I'm positive it is also illegal to give anyone less than a months notice from the first of the month. This includes your own children. They absolutely have no legal way to enforce this. The first thing I would do is calmly tell them you will accept 30 days notice to move from the the 1st day of July (or whatever the law is in your state). You need that time to find a place, save for a deposit, and arrange for movers. If they are so cold and so cruel as to put you and your things out on the street before this time, then you will only have 3 options. Contact the police and ask them to direct you to a shelter, move in temporarily with any friend, or with your boyfriend.

Actually, I think this should be a last resort. You will be moving from one dependency relationship right into another. If the relationship doesn't work out than you will be right back where you are now, homeless. Also, the stress of having to find your own place and move before you are ready is enough for you right now. You do not need the additional stress of being df'd or being thrown into a full-time relationship or finding a new job. Take it one step at a time.

Do not give up your job until you have another better one! This is the most important advice! It is your only means of support and independence. Being jobless can keep you dependent in a bad relationship. Being employed gives you options as a woman of means! If your parents take back your car, then let them take it. Take public transit to work. Millions of people (some with cars) commute for hours to work on public transit. If they can, you can too. When you get enough money or credit you can get your own car. Pay the higher insurance and count it as a lesson learned from your past.

You know what feels 100 times better than having a nice car and having your parents foot your bills?Having your own little place and your own junky little car and knowing you got it for yourself and you are in control of your own destiny!

Sorry my post is so long. I was on my own and df'd at 18 and yes I was scared. It made me stronger. This is the advice I wish someone had cared enough to have given me. You are luckier than many because you have all the people on this forum who care about you and want the best for you.

Good luck,

Cog